Who doesn’t want to be loved? Love makes the world go round. Love can bring happiness, but it can also bring sadness and despair. Sadly, there are thousands upon thousands of scammers out there who look to make money from our desire to be loved. And make no mistake, many of them are very good at deception and separating perfectly rational people from their savings.
Modern life makes it so much easier for romance scammers to locate victims and to fleece them. The internet affords us chat rooms, dating apps, message boards, Facebook, affinity groups and so much more. When we go to these sites, we are already open to meeting strangers and engaging in conversation in ways we would never do with a stranger on the street. All our defenses are down. The door is wide open for those with bad intentions.
And they bait the hook so well. There may be a picture of an attractive man or woman. There will be a backstory that will draw attention and interest. There will be conversation that goes back and forth until the scammer suggests that the conversation continue off the site, where, by coincidence, there will be fewer controls and safeguards.
When the hook is well and truly set, there will be a need for money. It may be for an operation for the scammer or for a loved one. It may be to pay off a debt to an unscrupulous loan shark. It may be to buy a ticket to come visit and meet. Whatever the reason, it will sound plausible and create a desire to help.
The money will always need to be sent in a way that makes it difficult to trace and difficult to ever get back, should the victim finally see the trap for what it is. Gift cards, cryptocurrency or Western Union are favored methods.
Almost never will the scammer meet the victim. Meetings may be breathlessly arranged but something will always come up at the last minute to prevent the meeting from taking place.
It is an unfortunate human characteristic that once we have invested in another person, especially a person who has declared his or her love for us, we are reluctant, indeed highly resistant, to hearing bad things about our friend/lover. When our friends or family try to tell us we are being taken, we may react angrily. Why can’t they see this is real love? Why are they trying to thwart our happiness? Until the scammer has taken all there is to take and moved on to another victim, there may by no way to break the spell the scammer has over the victim.
This type of scam is on the increase. Victims reported over $540 million lost to love scammers in 2021, an increase of $140 million from the previous year. Both of those numbers are surely too low as many of the victims are too ashamed to report having been taken.
It is very difficult to protect yourself from a romance scam. The scammers congregate in on line places where they know vulnerable people will appear. Like lions at a watering hole, they can spot the weak members of the herd who will be the easiest targets. When we are vulnerable, we often hear and see what we want to hear and see. The scammer counts on this.
If, however, you do suspect that your friend/lover is a scammer, stop all communication immediately. Seek the help and advice of friends and family. There are tools on the internet you can use to see if the picture of your lover has appeared elsewhere in connection with someone else’s name. Scammers do not use their own pictures. They steal one from on line. Don’t send money to people you have never met, no matter how much they may profess their love or how much or why they may need the money.
As much as you can in matters of the heart, be vigilant for those who would take advantage of you.
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